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How Not to Get Mugged

How Not to Get Mugged


How Not to Get Mugged. The streets can be rough. Don’t be this guy—a few simple precautions
will keep the muggers off your back. You will need Pockets Worn clothing and angry
glare. Step 1. Put away that iPod. Stick it in your pocket until you’re somewhere
safe. Step 2. If you carry a wallet, don’t keep it in
your back pocket. Instead, put it in a front pocket. Better still, keep money in your socks. Step 3. Instead of a pink polo, try a white T-shirt—with
stains. If you must wear expensive clothes, consider
buying a cheap jacket at a thrift store. Once you’re at your destination you can
throw it away. Step 4. Stop staring up at buildings like a tourist. Try to seem familiar with your environment. Periodically yell, “Benny! Where you at!” Step 5. Adopt an angry glare. If you’re having trouble looking mad, imagine
you just bought a used T.V. But when you got home and plugged it in, it
was broke. Step 6. While maintaining your angry glare, do your
best to project confidence. Like dogs, muggers can smell fear. Pretend that you’re a judo master, or that
you have retractable adamantium claws. Did you know Because of its tiny number of
residents, Vatican City has the highest per capita crime rate of any country in the world.

98 comments

a black limousine stops in front of Benny
and then you come out and confront Benny
You:"Hey Benny, where the hell's my friggin' money!?"
Benny:"Look man, I'll give it to you when I get it!"
you snap your fingers and three guys in tuxedos come out with Thompson machine guns

what happen's next?
reply

or you could y'know, carry a weapon in open view. who cares how the guy is acting. who are you gonna rob? an armed tourist or an unarmed local?

How to not get mugged.
U will need:
1. Some guns
2. More guns
3. Tattoos
4. A bad man walk
Did u know that guns are expensive?

step 1: get a 45 pistol.
step 2:get a .500 magnum revolver
step 3: get 200 rounds for each.
step 4: point and blow them to bits
step 5: claim self defense.
step 6: have a dam good criminal lawyer.
step 7: sleep tight at night.

Step 1: Be a Female (Hopeful during PMS or on your period).
Step 2: Were a hoodie that is white or a dark color.
Step 3: Have a pocket knife, etc.
Step 4: Carry your things in a purse or bag or the pockets on the hoodie.
Step 5: If anyone tries anything suspicious get that glare going! If they haven't left you alone by now, slightly pull out the pocket knife when they are close with a death grip on the knife.

When a mugger runs up to you, let him take your money and then shoot him to get it back. God help you if you're in your car. The mugger will most likely drive off in it, and then you'll have to blow it up and then pay the insurance.

I yelled benny where you at and some old guy came up to me and tried to mug me but I said m8 better step back i did 1 class in karate when I was 7

For people who have to wear suits

*Put your tie in your pocket or bag during your commute

*Bring a sweater to wear over your clothes and put it in your bag when you get to your destination

*Wear running shoes during your commute and change them at your destination

*Put your suit jacket into your bag during your commute

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