First there was the Nintendo, Followed by the game changing Super Nintendo, Evolving to 4 player technology with the N64 and GameCube, Advancing into 3D hand-held movement detection of the Wii, And the groundbreaking hybrid console Nintendo Switch, Leading us all the way to our most recent, cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, glorified origami cardboard technology known as the Nintendo Labo. Wait wait wait. Are you serious? Cardboard? Yeah. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. But it’s only $70! (Close to $69.99) I’LL TAKE IT! *ca-ching!* And the people who brought you none of the things mentioned earlier, We now present the Nintendoe Paper. My name is Ryan Higa, and I am the CEO of Nintendo with an ‘E’. When I first heard of a Nintendo Labo, I thought, “Wow, this is brilliant! This is genius. but, it’s just kind of missing something it wasn’t quite there I mean it was cool. It was dope. It just wasn’t… Nintendope. It was literally like a 9/10 doe (nin-out of ten doe)… and not a 10/10 doe… like a tentendoe. Ya know? Cardboard is something to be really focused on years ago. And now that Nintendo is doing it, it just goes to show you that we’re leading the pack, and we’re headed in the right direction… Backwards! People don’t want to invent technology anymore They’re sick of all these newer, smarter more advanced products. Look at fidget spinners, kendama, slime, mumble rappers. People don’t want better… They want to go backwards… And that’s why the Nintendoe Paper is perfect for this generation. With an 8.5 x 11 inch paper screen, and a width of less than 0.1M&M’s, It weighs only 5 “hard g sound”, Making it not only one of the largest screens out of any handheld console today, But also one of the lightest and most portable, thanks to its multi-bendable sides and complete wireless technology. And even with a screen that gigantic, it’s one of the most durable products on the market We’ve performed countless stress tests from drops to scratches to running it over with a truck. The screen just does not crack. However, it isn’t quite 100% waterproof yet, but our incredible team of scientists are currently working on a waterproof case and that’s not gonna be an issue for long (IP 69 rating). Now, I know a lot of people think that this is just some kind of money grab because on the outside, it might look like a normal, average, useless piece of paper. That’s just because technology has just sucked the creativity out of people. And just like the Labo, the Nintendoe Paper is here to bring back that creativity and imagination. Because when you use your imagination… There’s tons of usage of Nintendoe Paper! You can use it as a ball! You can use it as a straw! Use it as a placemat! Saran Wrap! Turn a beanie into a hat! Use it as a kite! Use it as a knife! Why even brush those pearls when they are already white! On a diet? Have some zero calorie rice! You can even use it as a 2009 cleaning device! Woohoo! Nobody’s gonna get that reference! So what are you waiting for!? Order your Nintendoe Shamwo- Wait.. wait, what?.. Why am I talking like this? Feels like I went back, like ,10 years or something You see, the Nintendoe Paper takes you all the way back to your most creative days, when you were a kid, and you didn’t have the technology to create a world better than your own imagination. And that’s our true mission here at Nintendo with a ‘E’ to avoid copyright issues, to bring back the most valuable asset in the world A child’s imagination. So order the Nintendoe Paper now for the same exact price is the Labo: $69.99 (Link in description below. JK) No joke, that’s how much it actually cost. And before you know it, you get it all back… the brain of a child. Round 1. Fight! Hadouken! *Oh my car* Do a barrel roll
(Z or R twice)! OAK: Hello there! Pikachu! OAK: Perfect! Squirtle! Squirtle! OAK: Wonderful! *ROAR!!* OAK: Well done! (James Bond) Free-for-all! GO! (Mario Theme) What are you doing? Dude! This Nintendoe Paper is freaking awesome man! Aw, if you like that, you’re gonna love Microsoft’s new system. What’s that? X-blocks! *Rips overpriced but totally 100% worth it piece of paper* TEEHEE !